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Posted
I was asking this girl to rate my song But I guess shes doesn't get on a lot...
Can you rate mine? I'll be happy to rate any other song you have writen. Thankies.

In Your Eyes

I want to change so bad.
I want to love everyone so bad.
But it's so hard.
I want to believe in you always.

(PRE-CHORUS!!!)

Maybe times are hard.
Maybe times are strange.
Or maybe it's just me.
Maybe it's just me...

(Chorus)
But In your eyes, I want to be something.
In your eyes, I want to be a faithful servant.
And In your eyes, I want to be growing in You.
And I want to be in the Body of Christ...And I am. And I will. And I want to...

I've doubted you, and I want to stop so bad..
I've sinned and I want to stop so bad..
So maybe this time I'll see the light.
I'll see the light in your eyes.

(chorus)

In my eyes. You are holy, You are perfect.
In my eyes...In Your Eyes...In everyone's eyes...In everyone's eyes...

WOW ITS THE END!

I guess tell me what I should change or something, it would help. Its my first song xD..Thanks!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: WarriorForChrist,


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
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Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Posted Hide Post
i think its koooool but i have no idea wat to suggest but then its kooool
ur awesome!
 
Posts: 38 | Registered: Tue June 05 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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tis a very good song indeed!!
and i do believe the verse you song before every chorus is the pre-chorus or the chorus enrty or something like that if im not mistaken....
Smile


"im not a wanna-be but who i wanna be and i intend to be how you created me" - Hawk Nelson Friend Like That

One of the joys of life is bubbles..... LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES!!!!! HAHAHA!!!! *crazy laughter* Wink
 
Posts: 941 | Location: I am currently where I am!!!! :) | Registered: Sat June 30 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Thank you. Umm.So then whats a bridge? I can't figure it out. :P


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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the thing before a chorus is a so-called ''Prechorus''

a bridge is a verse that is different from the other veres.. it might have different chords/melody/rhyme scheme. it is often somewhere at the end of the song.. usually it's: verse/prechorus/chorus/verse/prechorus/chorus/instrumental thingy/bridge/prechorus/chorus/chorus. that's is a basic overview.. ofcourse u are free to change it or add something Smile
 
Posts: 327 | Location: Edge of the world | Registered: Sun March 04 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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xD Yeah well I thought there was some Techy kind of name. But Thanks.Yeah, you can tell its my first song. :d


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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awsome! totally cool!
only ur first song! Eek 4 ur first one it's totally awsome!


my Only Weapon is my Microphone
break this habit the story of my life of in a world where all we know is pain. end the chapter close the book change the story aand burn up every single page...
*kazu* is my name. singing is my game, music is my passion-Jesus is my obsession
 
Posts: 701 | Location: at worlds end | Registered: Wed December 27 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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It roxs.

I got to share this sermon I heard cuz it just rocks like ur song.

http://www.upperroomcommunity.org/audioFileDownload.php...io/2007/07-01-07.mp3

It's good. He talks about God using sinners to glorify him. Good news!!!



you found me out and you still love me Now I'm learning... to see what you see... i'm finding out... who i could be as i'm learning... to love you like you love mE
-Stellar Kart
 
Posts: 75 | Registered: Sat July 29 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Rev, thanks! That makes me feel a lot more refeshed and I think I'll write another one.

Fron, I will look at that. I need some support about glorifying my Jesus. Thank you x10. It may help me write a new song.


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by HawkRoxx:
Thank you. Umm.So then whats a bridge? I can't figure it out. :P

a bridge is a part of a song thats different than the rest.... like you'll be playing a slow rock type thing, then you switch to like pop rock lets say (relly bad i no but its all i can think of, im just learing to play this on piano myself) for a few lines or measures or whatever, and then it switches back to slow rock.....lol are you more confused than ever???
that's the best i could do....
hope it helps!!!!


"im not a wanna-be but who i wanna be and i intend to be how you created me" - Hawk Nelson Friend Like That

One of the joys of life is bubbles..... LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES!!!!! HAHAHA!!!! *crazy laughter* Wink
 
Posts: 941 | Location: I am currently where I am!!!! :) | Registered: Sat June 30 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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I figured it out thanks. Im not gonna use a bridge though ^^.


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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lol
my description of a bridge prolly isn't the best so... yea sorry for confusing you more


"im not a wanna-be but who i wanna be and i intend to be how you created me" - Hawk Nelson Friend Like That

One of the joys of life is bubbles..... LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES!!!!! HAHAHA!!!! *crazy laughter* Wink
 
Posts: 941 | Location: I am currently where I am!!!! :) | Registered: Sat June 30 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Looks very well!
You're so better than me. xD
I cannot write one song without mistakes 'n boring senses!


<3 // SK is so cool! // They're all very cute, but Adam the cutest. // <3
 
Posts: 10 | Registered: Thu July 12 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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i tried to write a song once
it didn't turn out so well
cuz i started it my own words and all (duh..) and it had the same sort of rythym as something on my mind by hn, so i started writing that down instead...... it was kind of strange...
lol
so now i stick to poems and short stories.... i only write poems when i have something on my mind thou....
ah! something on my mind!!! i have to listen that now.... where's my cd???


"im not a wanna-be but who i wanna be and i intend to be how you created me" - Hawk Nelson Friend Like That

One of the joys of life is bubbles..... LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES!!!!! HAHAHA!!!! *crazy laughter* Wink
 
Posts: 941 | Location: I am currently where I am!!!! :) | Registered: Sat June 30 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Mine sound like poems all the time n.n


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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mine always sound like poems too. i can never match a beat olr something with what i've written! idk why


"You can take the one thing i have left, beat me to the ground & take my breath..NO...but you can't take who i am ....whoa...." -
One thing i have left-<3*Hawk Nelson*<3

You’re better than drugs
addicted for life
"-Better than drugs-Skillet
"I FEEL WIERD"-Jason Dunn


 
Posts: 610 | Registered: Tue November 28 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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well, when i just wrote the accidental song/poem (amazing i no!) when i reread it through, i got a certain melody to it, and i could kind of hear the piano notes i might use for it playing in the background really soft, like i was imagining them, you no? (and its not bc i was listning to Deathbed!!! i had paused it for a second, however hard that was, to read through it real quick Wink)


"im not a wanna-be but who i wanna be and i intend to be how you created me" - Hawk Nelson Friend Like That

One of the joys of life is bubbles..... LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES!!!!! HAHAHA!!!! *crazy laughter* Wink
 
Posts: 941 | Location: I am currently where I am!!!! :) | Registered: Sat June 30 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Thats cool!


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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i feel like a noob bringin back a dead thread but whatever...your song is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! i always get upset when i post song lyrics and stuff and ask people to tell me what they think of it and then no one does, so even if this was on like the last page i would probably still post on it Big Grin. but yeah, cool song. i can't really write stuff like that, i can only write rap. but i wish i could


" YAY TREVOR. GO TREVOR. TREVOR ROCKS..TREVOR IS AWESOME..TREVOR..OWNS trevor umm..IS BEAUTIFUL.." --HawkRoxx

Rule #17: If you're shooting on green screen, don't bring a green guitar strap.

 
Posts: 159 | Location: right here, where else? | Registered: Fri July 27 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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What did you say? This isn't a dead thread WinkI've been waiting for people to reply for awhile. But since the new forum, I haven't checked this one lately.


~we bleed to see~
against self injury.
twloha.com
Smile
 
Posts: 223 | Location: tx | Registered: Thu June 28 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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