ok..im back from my long absence...i have those alot dont i????? ha anywho....this is what has happened in the past ...well week.....(im not going real far back to where my absnce started srry!)...but ok...my exbf....his name is Paul....i jsut started talking to him again over the summer...through txt.....and the last tuesday i hung out with him for the first time in a year and a half...and it was fun and everything...no strong feelings popped up there...but then he came with me to september rush the next day at my church....and idk wat it was....but it was sooo hard for me not to wrap my arms around hiim and never let go...adn i wanted to kiss him soooo bad!!!!....and when i hugged him when i had to go (hey...he asked for one...).....it felt like like idk...like i belonged there.....liek it was where i was sposed to be...like i could say there in his arms forever...of course i only let the hug last a couple of seconds so as to not creep him out by not letting go.....and my dad was watching.....and then that entire night and next day all i could do is think of him....he clouded my mind, not letting me think clearly...and i was soooo happy....like i knew my heart would prolly just break like it did last time i let myself feel this way towards him....but i couldnt help it.....well last night i was thinking of him as i have been for a while now....and i got the strongest feeling to tell him the way i felt for him......for i txted him asking if he had the choice would he go back out with me......and well he has yet to respond so now im afraid that i made things awkward between us and i ruined the friendship i was building back up with him to an awkward yeah hey helle c ya type friendship.....and i sooo dont want that....i just idk......im sooo worried and stressed...but then i want to get over him so bad bc i know that this will keep happening but i cant......its impossible....and frustrating bc at the same time i want to love him forever.......