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messageboards.wordlabelgroup.com Nicole C. Mullen The Game of Life, "Are you being Played?"|
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This is something I wrote a few years ago and a conversation last night made me think of it, also someone wanted to read it. Maybe someone can relate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Game of LIfe!! 11/16/2002 Are you a player in the game, or have you been played by the Game? Along this game of life there are certain unwritten rules that one find out the hard way. Often times, you have no clue until you have been played on or shall I say, Preyed upon. People come into your life to use you for all you are worth and then after they are done with you they leave you high and dry and just go. Making your life more miserable than you can ever imagine. Most times these people come in the form of a friend. Yes, I said friend. They come to you with those tired lines like, Ohhh I think God has placed us in one another’s life and this meeting was meant to be. I don’t know what I would have done without you. And most times, cause you just don’t think people can be that cruel, you fall for it Hook, Line, and Sinker. See, I have found out from personal experience and not anything that I have read or heard about. That some people are just targets, its like you are wearing a big Neon sign on your forehead saying, come on I am a sucker for love, take me now!! I know that may sound a bit drastic but once folks are through using you up and it hits you that you were being used that is usually how it feels. People use that I Love You line so much, its a wonder it has any merit at all. Its like they are out to get what they can and forget you and all you feel when its time for them to move on to the next victim. Often times you are left feeling confused, hurt, bewildered and worst of all, Unloved and Lonely. When a person uses “pretend friendship” to use you, it causes you to never want to trust again. So what do you do to prevent this from ever happening to you again. Do you just stop loving folks? Do you vow to never trust again? How about telling yourself the real friends I have now are all I want and never make another friend again? Well let me tell you, its not that simple. If God has blessed you with the friendship gene, or gift as folks call it, you will always be a friend to others. You just have to remind yourself that not everyone is friendship material. Some people will never know how to trust or can never be trusted. Some folks will never know themselves well enough to know you and be that good friend you are looking for. A lot of people are out there to look out for numeral uno. You are nowhere in that equation. Some folks are usure of what they are and will use you for batting practice so to speak. You have them in male and female, but female users to another female are the worst, cause women are more emotional and end up hurt worst, but I could be wrong. Maybe women just show it more. My advice to you is, “Don’t get caught up in someone’s game plan”. If you have to set up rules from the beginning of new friendships then do that to protect yourself from having a hurt heart later on down the line. First off try not to offer to much about your life and things that hurt or make you feel good. People use those to build scenerios up to make you think they know where you are coming from or have walked in your shoes before. Its all a part of the Game that they are getting ready to play on you. Never ever give out give out monetary gifts before you really know a person. They use sad sack stories of how their lives have been so cruel and people have hurt them, and you wind up feeling so sorry for them and since they are sooooo nice you want them to know that someone loves and cares enough about them to help. Self worth comes from within. There is nothing you can buy or give that person that will fix that. If they don’t feel good about themselves then its up to them to want to change that about them. You Cannot do it for them. And if you are not just as important to them as you make them to you, Stop it, that’s a bad habit you have just formed and you need to break it. You are worth having happiness just as much as they are. If they don’t see that or even want to, you need to dissolve that relationship. I believe that you should get as good as you give, and I am tired of giving my best only to receive the worst end of the stick. I vow to myself to not let folks hurt me twice. I may suceed in or I may get a second sneak attack from that person, but be sure of this. Once I find out you are out to only use me, you are gonna be HISTORY. And I don’t care who you are. I no longer will let my love for you or my knowing you for a brief period get in the way of protecting myself from the kind of hurt and pain you emit. I deserve all the Happiness in the world, and if you can’t be as good a friend to me as I am to you, then just go; I don't need you in my life. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Whew! Man this was a lot to be on my mind. now remember folks I am soo not bitter, God is good like that.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Hey! Watchu sayin bout us bitter folk out heah!? (stress the "heah")
Awesome post, love it love it love it.  Jeremiah 29:11 |
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Hm... I'm thinking... ("a dangerous pastime, I know.") I have mixed feelings about the above sentence. On the one hand, there comes a point where we stop allowing ourselves to be used and mistreated. On the other hand, there does exist a certain freedom, holy virtue even, in accepting the reality that some will use us and mistreat us terribly, yet we choose to love and give kindly to them in spite of this knowledge. Jesus was betrayed and abused in the worst ways, yet still uttered, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." There have existed certain saints throughout the ages, who, with Christ's help and strength, so completely "loved" their enemies -which sometimes means friends or family members who became their enemies-that remarkable conversions have taken place, eventually. In biblical terms, I think of Joseph in Genesis, or Paul in Acts, described as a willing accomplice as well as a witness to the vicious, bloody, stoning of Stephen -who, like Christ, asked God's forgiveness for those stoning him. You can be certain that when Paul was converted a short time later, he remembered Stephen's face and his example of holy love. But most of us aren't stoned or crucified for literally preaching Christ. We're hurt by family, friends, neighbors, business associates, over stuff that seems, on the surface, to have nothing to do with Christ at all. But is that really the case? When we abandon ourselves to God, is there really any distinction? Should my neighbor, the unmarried, 60-something woman who keeps her yard neat as a pin and looks with disapproval upon the balls and tricycles in mine, (think "Miss Gulch" here from, "The Wizard of Oz") become someone I stop speaking to because she called the health department and complained about a "problem" with our septic tank in a deliberate, premeditated act of unrestrained spite? Should she get a different response from me than the, "Father forgive her..." because septic tanks have nothing to do with God other than God providing some spunky soul with the inspiration to create them? (In case you're wondering, "Miss Gulch" thought we had too many pinecones in our yard and came to our fence one day when the children were playing and asked them if they wanted to "play a game," at which point, being kids, they let her and her wheelbarrow into the back yard where she proceeded to direct them in a grand, pinecone pick-up. "Peter Parker" and I were discussing something in the house when we looked out the window and said to each other, "What is 'Miss Gulch' doing in our back yard picking up pinecones without our permission?" Not wanting to publicly embarrass her, "Peter Parker" went outside to help finish the job and then we sent her a very nice note asking her to please not come in the yard without talking to us first because this was an issue of safety for our kids.(i.e. what other adults can come to the fence asking to "play a game," that might not be so friendly.) A few days later, an official from the health department arrives, who sheepishly confessed that, yes, it was, "Miss Gulch," who called him to report a "problem" he was unable to locate after thoroughly inspecting our property.) Obviously, because I'm highly defective and dysfunctional, I'm not speaking to "Miss Gulch" at this time. But my gut feeling is, no, she should get the same, "love," Christ extended to those who were crucifying him, and she should get it no matter how many government agencies she phones when we tick her off. Hopefully, at some point, I'll get over myself enough to be nice to her again. I have, however, after praying about it for a couple of months, reached an internal level of pity for her, because virtually everyone in her immediate neighborhood, utterly despises her after experiencing similar encounters. Furthermore, sometimes God can do the most wonderful things with us and in us because of these experiences, even though they feel awful at the time. So in that respect, is it true to say we "don't need," people who hurt us? My hunble apologies to the peanut gallery for the length of this post... ____________________ Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed , each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. Pope Benedict XVI |
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Hey Lucie, I don't think yur post was too long.
Now referring to my last line, I don't however intend on never speaking again, cause then many family members will be wiped right out of my life. I am speaking directly to those who have been on the pretense side of "the friend aspect" I don't need the falsehood in my life. Now will I give that person or persons a morsel of food or even help monetarily if need be? Yes, but to sit and entertain them as friends, no I think once you have been shown over and over that usuary is in effect it's best to protect yourself the best way you know how. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I have seemingly heard this all my life and have basicaslly before and since accepting Christ tried to live by these rules. I have often times wanted to adapt t the concept of, doing it to others before they can do it to you again. LOL, I know it isn't right so I back off and go my way trying to dodge the blows as they come. Lately it seems more blows have come and the directions in which they came were far more than North, East, South and West. What's a person to do? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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What? Not even a chuckle out of my pinecone/septic tank predicament? i mean how many people look out their kitchen window to see a bonafide, "Miss Gulch," manipulating their children into picking up pinecones because the excess of such things in our yard, detracts from her view of the lake? And since I don't often write the word, pinecone, I'm not sure if it's pinecone, or, pine cone? Excuse me while I run look it up so I can add it to my store of the trivially true nothings, just in case I ever try out for Jeopardy.
I'm back. The official version appears to be: pine cone. But if it's pine cone, why isn't it, pine apple? And why would anyone care, anyway? You know Cece, what you're describing is, in itself, an issue of boundaries, which are 100% okay to have. Sometimes it's difficult to give ourselves permission to have boundaries but Christ exhibited boundaries (going off alone to pray, for example) during his three year ministry, without explanation or apology. What most often happens though -which I know from experience in my own life- is that we don't do a good job communicating those boundaries, verbally or otherwise, when we encounter people and they run right over them without looking back. We sit there and try to be patient, then we stew about it, then we finally blow up and either ruin the relationship forever, or seriously damage it, all the while blaming the other person for not reading our "signals," and understanding what it is we need. Internally, you know what your boundaries are, but outsiders, often, do not. Or, more often, they just assume your boundaries are the same as theirs which is where stuff really gets misunderstood. I think -as has been the case for me- this just takes a lot of time and practice and while I don't know that I'll ever be very good at it, I'm at least becoming more comfortable with it and have shed a great deal of the guilt. There is a way to do it without being hostile or inappropriate. It would be great if we were taught this as children, but many of us come from families where no boundaries existed at all so it becomes very hard. This is especially true for women. Most of the time we just walk around with a lot of stored up hurt and frustration, beating ourselves up for being so wimpy until we finally get mad enough to knock someone else around (figuratively speaking of course) because they didn't pick up the "clues." Am I getting closer? ____________________ Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed , each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. Pope Benedict XVI |
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Ok point well taken. I may have been guilty once or twice in my lifetime of not setting boundaries, or even realizing that one needed to be set.
How bout this. When you have in detailed gone over past hurts, mistakes and all. Even given your definition of what a friendship is and asked what was wanted out of it and felt you covered all bases. The person not only agrees but tell you that they feel those same points are to be made and excuted all through the relationship. Then the hammer still comes down (BOOM) often hitting you in the head and knocking you unconscience and all. You wake up and for the most part have no freaking idea what just happen, cause you covered all the bases. Do you just go and say, well this happens and stand in line for the next ingrate to come along, or do you gird up your loins put on your shield and get ready to fight. Cause the next person before they even get close enough to hurt will most definantly have a fight on their hands. I have tried both ways and then some I can't even imagine how I came up with, (guess I am more creative than I knew). And time and time again I feel I am only in this world to make others happy and that happiness itself for some odd reason was not put in with my order. Soo I say to myself well I will just make myself happy, Just Jesus, God, Me, and Me, and God and Jesus. Well come on now, was it really meant to be this way, or do I dare trust again and again. Must I always have to forgive. Or do I hold on to the forgive and just never ever ever forget? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Well now, this is a bit tricky without any specifics. I mean, the response I might suggest (for example) regarding the insensitive person at your church who expects you, volunteers you even -after you've laid out your boundaries- to organize and cook every meal the church offers on special occasions, funerals and any other day someone feels like a little bit of Cece's potato salad would hit the spot, is not the same response I'd recommend for that neighbor who keeps borrowing your car and bumming money for cigarettes. And the response I'd give you for the relative who moves in "temporarily" and stays three years without helping with expenses while running up your phone bill, is also not the same response I'd give you if you're in a relationship with someone who is chronically incapable of being faithful or emotionally honest with you. So in effect, the issue of boundaries and other people knowing and honoring them, is really determined by individual circumstances, including your own story and experiences. I will say this: When trying to correct problems that have come up in spite of your best efforts at "preventative medicine" so to speak, I think you have to base your response on several different things, one of which is, how do you want "the story," so to speak, to end? What do you think will happen to the relationship after you've gotten really angry and blown up? What would happen if you just sat down and said, "This happened and it really bothered me. I thought I'd communicated clearly what I wanted and needed but perhaps I didn't or wasn't understood very well. Can we discuss this again?" Sometimes people are just thick and need to hear something more than once in order to, "get it," if you know what I mean. Sometimes they need to hear it over and over and over and over and if it doesn't come naturally to them, it will take a lot of practice and goofing it up to get it right. If it's a relationship you want to preserve, be patient and be prepared. In some situations though, you can't afford to have to say it more than once. For example, while we hated offending "Miss Gulch," our neighbor, by asking her to please not come into our fenced yard without asking our permission first, the safety of our kids superseded our concern over whether or not the verbalized boundary (I say "verbalized boundary" here because most of us know not to enter the yards of other people, especially inside their fence, especially when they have young children without asking the adults first, but apparently she didn't, or didn't feel it applied to her which it certainly does as no precedent had been set to give her the impression otherwise.) would hurt her feelings or permanently damage our connection to her. In other words, our kids mean so much to us that it was simply a risk we had to take. In addition, sometimes we do things, get involved in situations where we later accuse someone else of not listening when, in fact, we are the ones who are guilty of not listening and paying attention. I have seen and experienced this most often in the area of helping someone that does not really want help at all, even when they ask for it in desperate moments and seem sincere. And listening, is always about more than words. When "Peter Parker" and I fight, he frequently says, "But you SAID such and such..." yet it's rarely that simple. (as every woman knows!) He usually counters with the very logical, "But all I have to go on is what you say..." yet that's not entirely true. There's body language, history, facial expresion, tone of voice, habit and a thousand other things that become part of true listening. Sometimes, one of the most effective tools of listening is just plain, old, gut instinct. Knowing something way down in your knower, so to speak. And sometimes, the one we listen to -besides the Lord- the most poorly, is ourselves. How many times, Cece, have you gone out on a limb, when your insides were plainly telling you not to or in fact, to wait? And how often has that turned out exactly as your insides predicted? Are there any patterns in your situations? I would suspect, if something is happening to you over and over, there's a pattern of behavior within yourself that could be modified to produce a different result. But you won't know that until you step back a little and look carefully. You could also ask close, trusted friends who have good heads on their shoulders to give you their honest opinion as to why certain things keep happening repeatedly. People, being who they are, won't mind telling you! Finally, don't underestimate what you've given that does not seem to be appreciated or respected at this time. Very often people thoughtlessly take and act, only to, years later realize what was given to them and at what cost to the giver. Whatever situations have blown up currently, may very well have all their pieces pull together years down the road. This is especially true in the life of a child, even an adult child. It just tore my little Grinch-heart up to hear you say you sometimes felt the Lord put you on this earth to make other people happy while experiencing little of it yourself. It's easy though, to feel that way and I have often felt it or been tempted to feel that very same way, myself. But Cece, you know, down in your own private, "knower," that Jesus is not only good, He's also not crazy or mean and does not play games with your head and your life and you always have a say and a choice. I believe Jesus wants you to experience all of His life just as much as He wants to live and experience yours through you and with you. Yet closing up as a defense to do the, "Jesus and Me" thing, because you're discouraged, will not bring you the peace or joy you seek and the relationship with the Lord you currently have will rot and spoil like the manna that could only be safely consumed the day it was gathered. Everything the Lord does in your life, is not meant for only you and everything the Lord wants to do in your life, is also not meant only for you. Most often, something He's doing with you and for you is going to be a gift for someone else, too, if you will allow it. So all those "blows," you've been receiving, have blessings in them for you to find, treasure, grow from and share if you'll hold on and let go, all at the same time. There's a full moon here in Georgia tonight, (and presumably, everywhere else) and it's hanging over the lake behind my house so heavy and full it seems like it's almost touching the water. What a privilege to still be awake to see it shine this way... I'm praying for you! ____________________ Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed , each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. Pope Benedict XVI |
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Thanks so much for these posts you two. The more and more I read them, the more and more I think the answer to life, the universe, and everything else is this:
42. I'm prayin for both of you. Jeremiah 29:11 |
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Probably more times than I can count. But I always feel a sense of guilt or that I am not in the will of God somehow if I don't just give or do what that person is asking at the time. Sometimes it's very clear that I should wait and see if things are as they say at the moment, but pleading over shadows my judgement at times. Then I think am I doing this out of personal spite if I don't help or do I really feel this person does not need me yo intervene. a lot of times it's easier for me to handle things then to constantly go through with this person. It seems I am gonna have to hear about it whether I help or not, so I would just assume do it. I am the one who usually look like the idiot in the end when I find out it was either a hoax or not as major as they made it out to be.
Yes, this I would say I am guilty of not paying attention too. But this is my take and you tell how to get out if you can, Lord I wish you could. When I meet a person or start the beginning of an friendship/relationship I take a person at face value and believe what they present to me in the beginning. I take it as truth. I don't go in with the idea, ok let me see how long it will be before they lie to me, or before what they are saying pans out to be false. I don't wanna have to go through live like that, thinking everyone has an agenda. I often make the mistake of being who I am and all that I am at the getgo. I considert myself to be an original W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G.(what you see is what you get). I just don't know of any other way to be. I must admit, I don't go blabbering my entire life out but I am pretty much gonna be the same. I just would like to for once get that from the other fella.
I do know in my heart of hearts that it's not so, it's just that when you have had your share of unpleasant memories and too many accounts of it taking place, you tend to want to give up on it all. Just hang a "USE ME AT YOUR WILL" sign up and hope you can at least get a little enjoyment out of it in the end.
I am soo glad you got to witness God in His awesomeness and infinite power. I love watching miracles in the sky.
Thank you sooo Much. I will as God brings it to me and with all my will do the same for you. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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My apologies, Cece, for taking a couple of three days to respond to your post. I've been thinking a good bit about what you wrote. But Lord, you sure don't make it easy on me with no specifics to go on! I really have for the moment, a few questions: What do you want to happen? If you could order your life into anything you wanted, what would it look like? Do you want your life to be less-exhausting because you aren't pouring yourself out for everyone who comes along that asks for help? Or do you want to know how to tell who to help and who not to help? Does helping make you feel important and needed or are there other ways you can generate those same feelings of worth without it costing you so much in time, energy and resources? In the end, is this about them, you, God or sometimes, all three? I pulled out a few sentences you wrote because they struck me as familiar. My mother-in-law, is, by all outward appearances, the kindest soul, always bailing someone out of trouble, relatives, friends, most often to her own hurt. And she does it, not because she feels compelled to do it by love or even at the nudge of the Spirit, but out of obligation and even frustration. If she doesn't help, who will? If she doesn't help she feels unbearably guilty. If she doesn't help, she's going to have to keep hearing about it until it drives her crazy so she might as well go ahead and do it anyway. But there's a problem with this and the problem is, I believe, at its core, a type of dishonesty. My mother-in-law has "helped" countless people, but these people become folks she resents and even, at times, mistreats because she resents them so much, resents having to help them, resents her inability to, "just say no." It would have been better for her to say, "I don't want to help," than to jump in and wind up exhausted and bitter which she invariably takes out on the very person she's trying to, for lack of a better word, fix. We have to work like the devil to get her to tell us what she really wants to do when we ask her something. If we, say, ask her to babysit for a few hours and she says, "I'm willing to keep the kids," we lovingly back her up to where she can comfortably answer, "I want to keep the kids," or "I don't want to keep them." What it usually means is that she would rather do something else because at her age she no longer has the patience. And we want to know her real feelings because: A.) We care about her and her feelings matter to us and, B.) we don't want to leave our children with someone who is merely, "willing," to watch them. (My mother on the other hand, is the exact opposite and calls us to schedule time to keep the kids because she enjoys them so much.) But anyway... Think about this a little bit and ask yourself what is it that you're really wanting? Are you wanting to stop carrying so much guilt? Are you wanting relationships that are a bit more balanced? Are you being really truthful with yourself and others in these instances? Sometimes, the best help you can give, is no help at all. Almost always, the best answer you can give, is the one that is most honest, even when, for the moment, it hurts someone's feelings. The most painful story my mother-in-law has shared with me, is about her ex-husband, my husband's father, coming to her house on Christmas Eve and surprising her with an engagement ring in front of her family in 1950-something. Not wanting to hurt his feelings even though she didn't really love him, she accepted the ring and they got married and were absolutely miserable for the next 25 years until they finally got divorced. How would her life have been different if she'd been, even though it would have been painful and awkward, truthful with him? How you feel about what you do, does matter. It matters to God, it matters to others. Do you believe there are people in your life who care not only about what you do, but how you feel? ____________________ Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed , each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. Pope Benedict XVI |
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Annndd the answer to that question had better be 'yes' Cecenicole.  Jeremiah 29:11 |
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Ohh Lucie, to properly and adequately answer you would mean to truly go into specifics and there is such a level of fear in me that prohibits me at this time. However I wish I could make myself just share without feeling like it's gonna come back to haunt me or worse yet.... leave me vunerable.
I thought I was being open, well as open as I could but I see you see through that, lol. I do however value your taking time and energy, cause I am sure as confused as I am on some things I may have confused you on a lot of things, to sit here and offer your wisdom and impart your knowledge. I thank you way in advance cause you have given me much already to think on, to pray about and hopefully some needed tools to decipher an alternate route to take down my lonely road that has been deemed as the life I lead. I have a really good specific detailed account of just one of the many accounts in my life that has left me feeling the way that I do, trust me a book could probably be written of the others, that if God allows me to get over my fright and nerves I would love to share, if but anything else to just rid my system of it. I will ponder on that and the other things yiou have share and do a quick inventory of my life and get back. God Bless and once again thank you sooooooooo much. CeCeNicole I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Yeahhhhhhhhh...Lucie is great huh?
Jeremiah 29:11 |
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I would love to believe that. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Hey a friend sent this to me in an email. I thought it was appropriate for this topic and to my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let it go for 2005... By T. D. Jakes There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ..... LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth..... LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you ........ LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...... LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...... LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...... LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...... LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....... LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ... LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. |
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Hmph...sure gave me a good scare with this post.
Jeremiah 29:11 |
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